he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Drake has all the answers
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
