I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
my shit smells like andre
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
