Is it normal to miss your booty call?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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