WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
