for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
