Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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