We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
