from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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