I think i peed on brittanys purse
I love having hate sex.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
