She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
that's an acceptable place to lick
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
