i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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