You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
