so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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