u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize