He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
