Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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