i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
