You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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