O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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