kristin has been a bad kristin
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
