I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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