They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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