So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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