Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize