she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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