ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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