Christians are straight up FREAKS
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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