I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
