oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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