About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
porn star boner night. come get it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
