I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
