I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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