plz talk dirty to me
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
