Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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