oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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