if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
