We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
how drunk are you?
Several
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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