y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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