Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
