Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
