I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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