Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
