I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
