You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
this beer tastes like vomit already
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
