i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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