He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
