This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
