I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Randomize