Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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