Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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