I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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