I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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