wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
