Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
