No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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