Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Randomize
