I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
