I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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