my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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