after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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