is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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