Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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