Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
