I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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