they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
