you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm both gender and math confused
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
