The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
