...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
