i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
